Cumulus Clouds

I knew I had turned the corner to adult hood when I could no longer see shapes in the clouds.

I remember as a child, laying on the ground, gazing up at a robins egg blue sky filled with fluffy white clouds.  I would see dogs and cats and witches and dragons.  I would watch as they danced and floated and disappeared right before my eyes.  Then another new shape would come into view just as the old one was disappearing.   I could lay there for hours pointing out new shapes and figures and scenes, and I did.  Often.

I had all but forgotten about this fantastical time in my life.  I remember back at that time, and it seemed magical, almost like a connection between the universe and little me.  ”See what I can make?  I know you’re there!”  it was saying to me.  And I responded with giggles and pointed stares.

Then I got older, and I suppose more cynical.   I had all but forgotten about this lovely time until my son was old enough to know how to point out shapes in the clouds.  I realized I could no longer see shapes in the clouds.  I felt an odd, deep, gloomy warmth in the pit of my stomach.  Trying to remember how I saw them, what I did to pick them out, trying to remember…seeing them.  Brighton would pick out this shape or that, and sure, I could see them as he picked them out…sort of…but not like before.  Before they literally jumped out of the sky at me like a 3D movie.  But not anymore, they were a faint blurr of white and blue.

Today as I was driving home, on a beautiful fall day like those that have blessed Iowa all summer long, and I looked up into the sky, and I saw a dragon with a curled nose and an open mouth ready to spew fire on any cloud in his wake.  Then I saw a running puppy, seeming to run after the dragon.  Then just below, I saw an alligator complete with a mouth full of teeth.  And I smiled.

I know I’m older, and more cynical, but at least I know that I still have enough of a child’s imagination to see images in clouds so I can share this with my son and my baby on the way.

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