Predatory Practices of Toddlers and Their Prey, the Neatly Folded Laundry

Sometimes it’s best, I’ve learned, to pick your battles and sometimes you have to sacrifice one to save the multitude. Such as it is with folding laundry while a toddler is anywhere in the house.

Upon movement of the laundry basket, tiny atoms of fragrant fabric softener is released into the air and immediately picked up by a predatory toddler. (The shepherdess has attempted to leave the laundry in the basket for a week or more to evade the toddler, but to no avail. The toddler’s sniffer is acclimated to the smell and can pick it up from at least 200 yards). So folding and hanging as fast as she can, the faint “slap slap” in the distance lingers. (Incase you aren’t versed in toddler ritual and predatory behavior, this is a sure sign that the prey will soon be seeked out and destroyed.) Alas, the toddler (in this case his name is Brighton, a name given by his parental units who are keeping watch over him until they can release him back into the wild) finds the unsuspecting hangers (set out in hopes that the hangers can take the brunt of the assault and the predator will tire and move on) he begins beating them against one another in an effort to stun the folder of the laundry. Upon hearing this, the laundry shepherdess (aka Mommy), attempts continue on her quest denying the hangers call for help. (It’s not mean it’s natural law). The neat pile of pants and shorts are now taking assault from the toddler. The shepherdess wasn’t quick enough this time, but she continues on in hopes that natural law will prevail and the strongest will survive (those items on hangers). Finally, sensing the anxiety in the Shepard, the toddler looks at her, she back at him and at the same time they lunge for the items on hangers. The toddler manages to wrangle one item to the ground while the shepherd scoops up the rest and quickly replaces them in their pasture (the closet). Thanking the gods that only one item needed to be sacrificed to save the rest. And in the end, the pants, shorts, and one lone hanging item show minor remnants of their battle with the toddler in the way of a little slobber on the shoulder or cuffs. All in all, it was a good day in laundry land. Until next time.

The Laundry Shepherdess of All Good Downy.

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