I Almost Forgot!

I almost forgot the biggest news of all! Brighton is done nursing. It’s sad but good. He hasn’t nursed since we went to Indiana. He will think about it, will sign “milkie” then mom says “no baby, momma’s out of milkies!” and I’ll grab some milk from the fridge and give it to him and he goes about his merry way. I’m so schizophrenic about this decision. The “up front” part of me thinks “Ok, you did it! No more fights for milkies before bed, or first thing in the morning, or first thing when he sees you!” then the deep down mommy inside of me realized that an era of his life (and my life for that matter) is over. He’s not a baby anymore. Nursing didn’t make him a baby, but it’s part of what he knew the relationship with mommy as. That was our cuddle time. He’ll cuddle now, and it’s sweet, but it’s not the same. It’s almost like I’m just like everyone else now. Kind of the way I felt when I wasn’t pregnant any more. I had to share him with the world, and I’m not sure I was 100% prepared for that feeling then or now. But I can’t go back. It’s good for him and for me. And, I have to look at it like this. I nursed him for almost two years. TWO YEARS! That is a miracle considering all the trouble we had trying to get it started! And two years makes him a strong healthy boy. I have to remember that he had the best start and he wasn’t nursing for nourishment or antibodies so much anymore as he was for comfort. And I can comfort him in other ways, like a hug or a snuggle or a kiss on the forehead. I knew he would grow up some day, I just didn’t expect it to be this quickly or this heartwrenching.

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